jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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