Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
