Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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