tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
