He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
