So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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