Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
