So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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