Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
