69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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