Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
