girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
