Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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