I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
