I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
