his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
