i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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