The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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