i may or may not be watching the land before time
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize