the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
