Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm getting married
To pizza
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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