it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
