sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
