I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
