then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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