My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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