Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
