Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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