i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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