mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
