I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
