we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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