coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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