we're blogging at a bar
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize