He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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