I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
