So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize