So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
