do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize