and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
