in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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