I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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