She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
