Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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