I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
