Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
