Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
