i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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