I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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