Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize