i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
