Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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