My nipple is on Facebook.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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