I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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