honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
