Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i think i just lost a toe
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
