Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize