Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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