i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
