"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
