She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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