did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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