I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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