i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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