so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
