I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
