I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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