in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
