Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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