I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
