You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize