i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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