Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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