someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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