At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
